“The Cynic’s Dog
There once was a man of Athens who lived in a tub
Out in public, he was not afraid to rub-a-dub-dub
He denied too much junk
The city thought him a punk
So they beat him till he bled
Born and bred in Sinope
Athens thought he had no hope
Why? Mr. Socrates do you answer with a question?
Show some pity for a petty thief
Those descended from you and Antisthenes always teach:
Be kind, and practice what you preach
Digonales and Penneiz Dialogue on Death
Diagonales: How are you on this hot and sticky afternoon, Penneiz?
Penneiz: Quite cool, I find the heat mediated by the breeze on this beauteous day.
Diagonales: I prefer different weather, but no matter. Have you seen Dothaniella as of late?
Penneiz: No, she always seems to be caught up in her experiments. Bit of an oddity, perhaps?
Diagonales: Indeed, a damned fool at times to be sure, but I had the most peculiar experience with her the other week.
Penneiz: Tell me, in this best of all possible worlds I must gather all kinds of experiences.
Diagonales: If this world was the best of all worlds, then why is there so much death, disease, and destruction?
Penneiz: Oh Diagonales, always straying from the point with your bitter attitudes.
Diagonales: You didn’t answer my question.
Penneiz: You didn’t answer mine. Let us save this question for another time.
Diagonales: Fine. I suppose you wish to know of my occasion with Dothaniella?
Penneiz: Only if you wish to tell it.
Diagonales: I do, we were at her house, and she was showing me her vast amount of notes. Supplies seemed endless, glass tubes, vials, liquids, beakers, boilers, hotplates, and any other piece of equipment that might cross your mind. While scanning her notes I found one example that caught my attention. Only a description of how she felt, while ingesting this unique substance.
Penneiz: Did it have a name?
Diagonales: I don’t quite remember. It was her own concoction. Anyways, I asked her about it, and she said that her “practice was not as furnished as she would prefer.” Not being entirely sure what she meant, Dothaniella offered me some. Her notes described it as a sort of “transcendent out of body experience.” Nothing harmful, just strange.
Penneiz: Good god, man!
Diagonels: Let us leave God out of this.
Penneiz: I meant that you seemed surprisingly apt to taking this thing?
Diagonales: Actually, I was very reluctant at first. I asked her what would happen to me. She responded with one simple sentence: “This is what it feels like to die.”
Penneiz: Why would you want to feel death? This world is wonderful and has so many things to offer! Is death not the process of leaving this world?
Diagonales: This was my reaction at first, but she affirmed that it was not dangerous and completely “natural.” I took the pill, and waited for the effects. It affected me in the most peculiar way. Things began to change and morph, flow in and out of other things, and colors overlapped in the strangest fashion.
Penneiz: It sounds as though you were in a place of intense illusion.
Diagonales: I suppose I was, but the effects seemed so real. I became frightened. The walls closed in around me, and I felt as though I was slipping from everything I had come to know. Everything I had come to hate and love. My chest was thumping beyond anything I had felt before. Just as things were going completely dark, I heard a soft soothing voice. It was feminine. It lapped against me like a the tide of a grand ocean.
Penneiz: Was it Dothaniella? She has always had a grounded, focused, and pleasant demeanor.
Diagonales: It certainly was the voice of a women. I cannot be too sure that it was her, but the voice did bring me into a euphoric stupor. Once I relaxed, and accepted what was happening, I was back in Dothaniella’s lab. She then proceeded to ask me how it was. I told her I was scared, and could make no sense of what had just occurred. She asked me if I wanted to try more.
Penneiz: More! This substance seems awfully dangerous to me. Taking you away from everything you have known! I am not sure I would feel comfortable ingesting more.
Diagonales: That might be what you think, my friend. Even though that short experience was scary, I wanted to see what it was like again. She told me, “This time, do not be afraid.” I took another one, and the effects were stupendous.
Penneiz: Stupendous? So it was good?
Diagonales: It is hard to lay judgement on so strange a thing, but I feel as though I learned something.
Penneiz: Penneiz: And what was that?
Diagonales: I’m not quite sure. Let me complete my story, and perhaps that will shed some light on my situations. the second dosage began to kick in. This time was different. Fear still had it’s hold over me, but I was a little more accustomed to it the second time around. The walls closed in, and nothing seemed familiar. Shapes, colors, and all my human faculties became confused and off put. I was thrusted into another dimension. Everything seemed so vivid, so clear. Yet it was different still. I felt unanimous, synonymous, and whole. I could become any shape, color, or thing. Energy filled my entire essence. If I wanted to be a giraffe, I could be a giraffe. If I wanted to be a willow, I could be a willow. If I wanted to be evil, I could be evil.
Penneiz: Evil? How could you be evil itself?
Diagonales: I don’t know, but I tried it for awhile. Everything was red, yellow, and jagged. Pain filled my contemptible existence. Loss, debt, and shame were the feelings I felt. It was terrible.
Penneiz: You said you could choose what form or thing to take. Why not take on the form of goodness and virtue?
Diagonales: That is a mighty fine idea. For whatever reason, it did not cross my cynical mind. After this I came back to our world. Dothaniella asked me more questions, and she proceeded to write and record everything I said.
Penneiz: How peculiar of an experience.
Diagonales: Yes, it was. Another thing that was very curious was time.
Penneiz: Time? How do you mean?
Diagonales: Well, I felt as though I was gone from Dothaniella’s lab for eons. To me, it felt as though years had passed.
Penneiz: That is odd indeed. Do you know how much time really passed?
Diagonales: Dothaniealla told me fifteen minutes had passed. She told me time is a relative matter, and it is all in the eye of the beholder. She is a strange one, isn’t she?
Penneiz: Yes, a very strange experience to be sure.
