The Man Across in Black

By Zach Khelah

On the table sits a roll of bread and a cup of coffee

I sit and wonder, “compared to this man I must be a softie

Clad in black, unkempt fingernails, where has he been?

Where is he going?

Pock marked, a rough beard, and slim figure

He leaves for a cigarette

Where does he sleep? It can’t be comfortable, I bet.

If asked what I thought of him, I would say:

“Your appearance looks as though you’ve fallen on hard times.”

What a relative phrase

The white twenty-one year old in the back corner chats about becoming independent.

Has this man only known self-support?

If I talked to him, what would be the rapport?

“Tell me about your life?”

“Was it easy?”

“Was it hard?”

“Is your body healthy?”

“Is your mind sound?”

I can only hope that when he ends up found

he will be happy, good, and better for it.

I glance up

He is gone

Only a cup of coffee left behind

The Genius Trapped In a Well

By Zach Khelah

A man caught in the depths of the ocean.

He's a wondrous swimmer.

Diving, breaststroke, backstroke come naturally.

The depths surround him.

There is much to do in this vast blue.

Shipwrecks to explore.

Creatures to identify, comprehend, analyze, synthesize, and evaluate.

"Don't placate me" he says sternly.

The waves are crushing.

The shore seems unreachable.

Liquid surrounds him, permeates him, and oozes out his pores.

He wants to stop.

A part of him hates it.

Imbibing the toxic solution became so natural.

It numbs the pain.

"I sacrifice tomorrow for today" he tells me.

The Redundant Candy

The Redundant Candy

David and Larry walk into a candy store.

David: I’m tellin ya, man. If they would’ve just ran the ball, they would have won.

Larry: Maybe. You know what I think? I think you didn’t even watch the game. You don’t even like sports. I bet you just read that on some forum.

David: Maybe. So what should we get?

Larry: We?

David: Yeah, we. We’ll split something.

Larry: Nope. No way. I am not a splitter. I get the thing I want, and the portion I want because I intend to eat it all. Not a waster either. No wasting. No splitting.

David: I see your point, but people have gotta cut down on their sugar intake. You know how many grams of sugar you’re supposed to have daily? Guess. Guess how many grams.

Larry: I don’t know-

David: (cuts him off) Six. Six grams of sugar. You drink pop?

Larry: Sometimes.

David: Well you are over the limit my friend!

Larry: Alright, fine. We’ll split something. What’d you want?

(Both stare at the selection for a bit)

David: You know what’s funny?

Larry: What?

David: I have been have been perusing candy selections since I could walk, but I still have to do the stop and stare. I’ll walk up to the shelf, and just stare for a few minutes. I know what’s here, but I have to stop and stare.

Larry: I could do licorice right now.

David: Oh, I love licorice.

Larry: Yeah, the one’s you peel. I could go for some peely licorice.

David: I don’t see it here. I don’t think they have it. You know what my rule of thumb is for licorice?

Larry: What?

David: If the brand’s logo has an animal on it, it is fine and tasty licorice. The one with the panda or the kangaroo, both are fine licorice. Even if it’s black licorice.

Larry: Oh, god no. Black licorice tastes like ass.

David: Alright. What about Reese’s Pieces?

Larry: You always want Reese’s Pieces.

David: I like the pieces.

Larry: Not enough peanut butter. The ratio is just not worth it. I love my peanut butter. For many meals I might as well just put it in the jar and eat it from there.

David: Too much butter of the peanut.

Larry: Never enough. How about some Kazoozles?

David: What’re you five? What the fuck is a Kazoozle?

Larry: Fun to say. Fun to eat.

David. No.

Larry: Skittles?

David: Skittles are the refuse of unicorns and fairies. I don’t wanna taste the goddamn rainbow! I have an aversion to skittles. I ate too many one night when I was a kid and threw up everywhere.

Larry: Okay. No Skittles. Peach rings. Peach rings are a good candy.

David: Peach rings?

Larry: Peach rings.

David: I dunno. You eat three or four peach rings and you get tired of them. They get redundant. They’re a redundant candy.

Larry: Well you suggest one? Something that isn’t “redundant.”

(Pause)

David: I think I’m gonna get the pieces.

Larry: I think I’m gonna get the rings.

Poem and Dialogue: 'The Cynics Dog" and "Penneiz and Diagonales on Death"

“The Cynic’s Dog

There once was a man of Athens who lived in a tub

Out in public, he was not afraid to rub-a-dub-dub

He denied too much junk

The city thought him a punk

So they beat him till he bled

Born and bred in Sinope

Athens thought he had no hope

Why? Mr. Socrates do you answer with a question?

Show some pity for a petty thief

Those descended from you and Antisthenes always teach:

Be kind, and practice what you preach

Digonales and Penneiz Dialogue on Death

Diagonales: How are you on this hot and sticky afternoon, Penneiz?

Penneiz: Quite cool, I find the heat mediated by the breeze on this beauteous day.

Diagonales: I prefer different weather, but no matter. Have you seen Dothaniella as of late?

Penneiz: No, she always seems to be caught up in her experiments. Bit of an oddity, perhaps?

Diagonales: Indeed, a damned fool at times to be sure, but I had the most peculiar experience with her the other week.  

Penneiz: Tell me, in this best of all possible worlds I must gather all kinds of experiences.

Diagonales: If this world was the best of all worlds, then why is there so much death, disease, and destruction?

Penneiz: Oh Diagonales, always straying from the point with your bitter attitudes.

Diagonales: You didn’t answer my question.

Penneiz: You didn’t answer mine. Let us save this question for another time.

Diagonales: Fine. I suppose you wish to know of my occasion with Dothaniella?

Penneiz: Only if you wish to tell it.

Diagonales: I do, we were at her house, and she was showing me her vast amount of notes. Supplies seemed endless, glass tubes, vials, liquids, beakers, boilers, hotplates, and any other piece of equipment that might cross your mind. While scanning her notes I found one example that caught my attention. Only a description of how she felt, while ingesting this unique substance.

Penneiz: Did it have a name?

Diagonales: I don’t quite remember. It was her own concoction. Anyways, I asked her about it, and she said that her “practice was not as furnished as she would prefer.” Not being entirely sure what she meant, Dothaniella offered me some. Her notes described it as a sort of “transcendent out of body experience.” Nothing harmful, just strange.

Penneiz: Good god, man!

Diagonels: Let us leave God out of this.

Penneiz: I meant that you seemed surprisingly apt to taking this thing?

Diagonales: Actually, I was very reluctant at first. I asked her what would happen to me. She responded with one simple sentence: “This is what it feels like to die.”

Penneiz: Why would you want to feel death? This world is wonderful and has so many things to offer! Is death not the process of leaving this world?

Diagonales: This was my reaction at first, but she affirmed that it was not dangerous and completely “natural.” I took the pill, and waited for the effects. It affected me in the most peculiar way. Things began to change and morph, flow in and out of other things, and colors overlapped in the strangest fashion.

Penneiz: It sounds as though you were in a place of intense illusion.

Diagonales: I suppose I was, but the effects seemed so real. I became frightened. The walls closed in around me, and I felt as though I was slipping from everything I had come to know. Everything I had come to hate and love. My chest was thumping beyond anything I had felt before. Just as things were going completely dark, I heard a soft soothing voice. It was feminine. It lapped against me like a the tide of a grand ocean.

Penneiz: Was it Dothaniella? She has always had a grounded, focused, and pleasant demeanor.

Diagonales: It certainly was the voice of a women. I cannot be too sure that it was her, but the voice did bring me into a euphoric stupor. Once I relaxed, and accepted what was happening, I was back in Dothaniella’s lab. She then proceeded to ask me how it was. I told her I was scared, and could make no sense of what had just occurred. She asked me if I wanted to try more.

Penneiz: More! This substance seems awfully dangerous to me. Taking you away from everything you have known! I am not sure I would feel comfortable ingesting more.

Diagonales: That might be what you think, my friend. Even though that short experience was scary, I wanted to see what it was like again. She told me, “This time, do not be afraid.” I took another one, and the effects were stupendous.

Penneiz: Stupendous? So it was good?

Diagonales: It is hard to lay judgement on so strange a thing, but I feel as though I learned something.

Penneiz: Penneiz: And what was that?

Diagonales: I’m not quite sure. Let me complete my story, and perhaps that will shed some light on my situations. the second dosage began to kick in. This time was different. Fear still had it’s hold over me, but I was a little more accustomed to it the second time around. The walls closed in, and nothing seemed familiar. Shapes, colors, and all my human faculties became confused and off put. I was thrusted into another dimension. Everything seemed so vivid, so clear. Yet it was different still. I felt unanimous, synonymous, and whole. I could become any shape, color, or thing. Energy filled my entire essence. If I wanted to be a giraffe, I could be a giraffe. If I wanted to be a willow, I could be a willow. If I wanted to be evil, I could be evil.

Penneiz: Evil? How could you be evil itself?

Diagonales: I don’t know, but I tried it for awhile. Everything was red, yellow, and jagged. Pain filled my contemptible existence. Loss, debt, and shame were the feelings I felt. It was terrible.

Penneiz: You said you could choose what form or thing to take. Why not take on the form of goodness and virtue?

Diagonales: That is a mighty fine idea. For whatever reason, it did not cross my cynical mind. After this I came back to our world. Dothaniella asked me more questions, and she proceeded to write and record everything I said.

Penneiz: How peculiar of an experience.

Diagonales: Yes, it was. Another thing that was very curious was time.

Penneiz: Time? How do you mean?

Diagonales: Well, I felt as though I was gone from Dothaniella’s lab for eons. To me, it felt as though years had passed.

Penneiz: That is odd indeed. Do you know how much time really passed?

Diagonales: Dothaniealla told me fifteen minutes had passed. She told me time is a relative matter, and it is all in the eye of the beholder. She is a strange one, isn’t she?

Penneiz: Yes, a very strange experience to be sure.

Poem and Dialogue: "Imam Cannoot" and "Penneiz and Diagonales Go to Church"

Imam Cannoot

Another man resided in Prussia.

Konigsberg, born and died, he lived a regimented lifestyle.

On the clock like a dial, never faltered, and never failed.

The town believed him to be as reliable as math itself.

Solid, concrete, and representative of all.

He saw things only as valid or false, true or wrong, black or white

His morality was rules, his rules his reason, and his reason his religion.

Unsound or sound, he was profound, and physics was his favorite toy.

He saw things as they were, grounded, compounded, he is the true representation of “modern joy.”

Penneiz and Diagonales Go to Church

Penneiz was walking through the town early on Sunday morning. The streets were not very busy for everyone was practicing their own Sunday routine. However, he did run into one particular person.

Penneiz: Ah my friend Diagonales, how are you on this most holy of days?

Diagonales: Today is the least holy day for me, but I am doing fine. How are you?

Penneiz: Wonderous! I am doing quite well. Why is today not a holy a day for you? Everyone else is at church. Why not you?

Diagonales: I could ask you the same question.

Penneiz: Well I do not consider myself a very religious man. I have my own personal practices, but I’ve never been one for sermons and services.

Diagonales: Neither have I. They seem frivolous to me.

Penneiz: Frivolous? I’m not sure I would say that. There are friends of mine who truly delight in being part of a spiritual community. Spirituality is a very important aspect of some peoples lives.

Diagonales: A waste of time for me.

Penneiz: There is no religion or kind of spiritual practice that interests you?
Diagonales: None at all.

Penneiz: Come now, my friend, there must be some kind of philosophy in your life that guides you. Something to hold onto. Something to believe in.

Diagonales: (chuckles) Well, if I had to pick something, I would choose that place over there.

Penneiz: That mosque? It has only been here for some time. Very recent, I think. What do they call themselves?

Diagonales: I do not know, but their order has not been around for very long. In comparison to most religions, they are new. All that I’ve heard about them is that they hold reason and mathematics to the highest degree. That is something I can believe in. Numbers, formulas, deductive logic, things of that sort. Those things are ironclad. Unlike most peoples ideas of god, heaven, the afterlife, hell, and all that nonsense derived from the ancients.

Penneiz: I thought you to be an innovative thinker, Diagonales. Was not all of our post-modern conceptions of the world derived from the greeks and other ancient societies? I don’t think they are useless. Why don’t we visit this new mosque, and see what the Imam has to say. Their morning practices should just be ending now.

Diagonales: If you insist, my friend.

Penneiz: I do.

Penneiz and Diagonales proceeded to the mosque in hopes of finding some spiritual essence for Diagonales to accept.

Imam Cannoot: Welcome children, to the mosque of reason. Here we do away with nonsense, and only seek the truth. What can I do for you gentleman today?

Penneiz: Good morning Imam, we are here to understand what your order teaches and believes in. My friend here says this is the only religion worth understanding.

Imam Cannoot: He is quite right.

Penneiz: But what of all the other people who believe in their religions? Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Taoism, Buddhism, Mithraism, and Scientology? I’m not saying I believe in everything they have to say, but you admonish against these faiths?

Diagonales: To hell with all of them! What good have they ever done? Vehicles for power, sparks of religious wars, and the destruction of lives is all they have to offer. They say god is everywhere, but you must go here to worship him. Oh, and by the way, got any spare change to save your soul?

Imam Cannoot: I can see you have much anger associated with these things. Our practices can offer you a different way, my friend. A middle path, so to speak. Do you see this triangle I have here?

Diagonales: Yes, it looks odd to me. What is it?
Penneiz: It looks like some sort of crystal ball to me, but made into a triangle.

Imam Cannoot: Fool! Do not subjugate and demean our practices by comparing it to the practices of mysticism. This is an order of reason, and truth. Not cheap parlour tricks found at a carnival! This, my unenlightened sons, is a Geomotizer.

Diagonales: I like the sound of that. What does it do?

Imam Cannoot: It is made of a special alloy that is derived from things beyond measurable time and space.

Penneiz: Really? I’ve always loved things that seem “otherworldly.” How does it work?

Imam Cannoot: How many times must I tell you that it is not some artifact descended from gods!

Penneiz: But you said it was deriv-

Imam Canoot: Silence! Let reason and logic be your guide!

Diagonales: Have some patience Penneiz. Is that not something you have always told me?

Imam Cannoot: Now, the purpose of this instrument is to look into your past and understand where you come from. It will show you memories, but only in a way that is a priori to your experience. Would you like to test its powers, Diagonales?

Diagonales: I really would, but I think my friend here should go first. He has always been the more level headed one.

Penneiz: Oh no, my friend you are the one who is in need of faith. I think you should be the one.

Imam Canoot: I agree, and I must point out how your friend is mistaken. We do not have blind faith, we have math.

Penneiz: Math is useful, yes, but does it really satisfy your spiritual side? The part of us that needs some kind of emotional comfort, and love that makes us feel one and whole with the universe?

Imam Canoot: Imbecile, have you not read our holy texts?

Penneiz: I have not.

Imam Canoot: Then do not speak of ghosts, and souls without understanding what you are saying. Now, are you ready, Diagonales?

Diagonales: Yes.

Imam Cannoot: Good. Now, as you hold this stone in your hand I want you to relax and let go of everything you think you know. The Geomotizer knows when you are holding back, and it can sense when you are not fully giving yourself to it. Now, close your eyes and let the object take hold. What do you see?

(Diagonales closed his eyes. The stone began to glow a blood red.)

Penneiz: Do you see anything of substance, my friend?

(Diagonales’ body started to tremble. Tears ran down his face.)

Penneiz: I don’t like this, is this safe Imam?

Imam Cannoot: Do not doubt our teachings. People only see things from their perspective. We are the essence of objectivity. Subjectivity leads to mistakes. Mistakes lead to problems, and problems are evil. We must show the world that our way of life is the best, and the only way to live. Idiots such as yourself have no place here. We are trapped by the narrowness of experience. Human bondage, human error, lead to subjectivity. We are trapped in our own gridwork and we must free ourselves from foolhardiness.

(Imam Cannoot removed the stone from Diagonales’ hand)

Penneiz: Are you alright Diagonales?

Diagonales: (looking distraught) Yes. . . I’m not quite sure what happened. . . I think we should leave now.

Penneiz: Yes, yes I think you are right. Let’s go.

Imam Cannoot: Wait! Before you leave, my sons. In today’s society everything needs some energy, some push to help it along. Would either of you be so kind as to donate to our most holiest of orders?